At 9:45am on a weekday:

Last July, when we were preparing for our trip to Israel, I called Citizens Bank and asked this simple question: “What is the least expensive way for me to get Israeli sheqels out of my Citizens Bank checking account?”
In response, the customer service representative told me the following:
Unfortunately all of this is incorrect:
A week from today is election day. In Massachusetts, there will be three statewide ballot questions in addition to candidate elections. These ballot questions are important and I strongly urge all registered voters in Massachusetts (if you’re not registered, register before the next election!) to visit the polls and weigh in. I recommend voting no on all three ballot questions.
I have to confess that at this point it seems like posting examples of Citizens Bank incompetency is sort of like beating a dead horse, but here’s one that might amuse a few people. (Stay tuned for a future post about the >$300 in fees that Citizens Bank stole from me, which I’m holding off on posting about until it is resolved.)
The last time I logged into the Citizens Bank online banking Web site, I saw this message:
We’ve made some improvements to Online Banking! The new “Manage Features” tab provides convenient access to services which work along with your accounts, including Goal Savings, Rewards, Overdraft Services, and Protection Services. See how you can get the most out of your accounts!
Unfortunately, there was no “Manage Features” tab that I could find anywhere on the Web site. I sent them this message through the site:
My home page says “[above message elided]” but there is no “Manage Features” tab that I can find anywhere on the site.
Two days later, I got this response:
Thank you for your recent email regarding a Manage Features tab. Please provide additional information where you are viewing this reference; please provide page. Unfortunately we are unable to assist you further with this issue with the information provided, as we are unable to locate the page you are viewing. You may choose to call when you are on the website so we can navigate along with you. We regret any inconvenience this may have caused.
Which part of “home page” did they not understand? Which part of “It’s your broken Web site that displayed this stupid message, so why don’t you go bother the people who create and post these messages instead of wasting my time?” did they not understand?
*sigh*
[Read the whole series of postings about Winters Plumbing here.]
I posted a while back about a bogus “free safety inspection” Winters Plumbing convinced us to have, where “safety inspection” actually meant “excuse for one of our plumbers to get into your house so he can try to convince you to buy all kinds of stuff you don’t need.
I also mentioned in that posting how the plumber who did the “inspection” quoted us a price of $238 to replace a broken toilet handle, a job that takes less than ten minutes and requires a part that costs less than $5 and is stocked all the time by pretty much every plumber.
Scott Adams says that human beings are “rationalization machines.” I’m sure I’m as guilty of that as the next guy, but I try to be aware of when I’m rationalizing. I have suspected for quite a while that I was giving Winters the benefit of the doubt more than they deserved. I hired them to replace our heating system for a higher price than some of the other companies quoted because they seemed more reputable and trustworthy than the others. I wanted to believe that decision was the correct one. I don’t think I can maintain that delusion any longer.
On Monday, July 12, I rented a ZipCar for an hour to go grocery shopping. During the half hour I was in the store, some asshole thief put a grapefruit-sized dent in the bumper of the ZipCar and drove off without leaving any contact information.
I called ZipCar immediately on my cell phone. The rep with whom I spoke first verified that everyone was OK and then went through the “customer was in an accident” script quickly, efficiently, and politely. I received email within minutes of our phone call telling me everything I needed to know and do. It was all quite reasonable.
In a recent tragedy, twin toddlers drowned in their family’s backyard in-ground pool.
Two articles in a row in the Boston Herald mentioned that the authorities were investigating how the twins drowned despite the fact that the pool had a cover.
There seems to be a widespread misconception, which the Herald articles exacerbate, that pool covers are a safety device. In my letter in today’s Herald, I tried to set the record straight:
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
A pool cover is not a safety device; it is intended to keep the pool clean, not prevent drownings. In fact, pool covers make pools less safe for children (“Police to study security tape in tots’ drowning,” July 19).
My heart goes out to the parents, but it disturbs me to see officials claiming they did everything right. If that had been the case, then it would have been impossible for the children to access the pool unsupervised. There is a reason why many insurance companies refuse to issue policies to homes with pools.
- Jonathan Kamens, Brighton
Police have taped off Beach Street between South and Lincoln Streets in downtown Boston’s Leather District this morning. I asked an officer who was keeping people from entering the area, and he said there was a stabbing. Photo:
According to Margery Eagan in today’s Herald, both Deval Patrick and Charlie Baker support “some type of road testing for the elderly.” Independent gubernatorial candidate Tim Cahill? Not so much:
“I don’t want to take away licenses from able-bodied people or force them to go through a driver’s test,” he said. What the Legislature did, he said, is “fine.”
Hey Tim… The point of road tests for the elderly people would be to figure out which people are not “able-bodied.” Anybody who can look at the string of completely avoidable accidents involving elderly drivers and think that this isn’t necessary is a moron. I don’t vote for morons.
Citizens Bank has been particularly idiotic recently. Here’s the round-up of all the disappointments we’ve suffered at their hands…