Dear Hillary,

When it comes right down to it, there’s only one thing that could save your chances of winning the nomination. For you to defeat Barack Obama, something colossally bad needs to happen to his campaign. We’re not talking “bad” like tenuous links to a corrupt entrepeneur — Tony Rezko hasn’t even blipped Obama’s poll numbers. We’re not talking “bad” like offensive sound bites from his pastor — Obama overcame Wright-gate in a week. We’re talking really bad, a Big Scandal, like dead bodies buried in his basement or thousands in unmarked bills stashed in his freezer.

You’re certainly smart enough to realize this, so I’m sure you’ve got your people digging, digging, digging to find the Big Scandal. But the odds of finding one are low, and you’re smart enough to realize this as well. I hope you won’t mind if I offer you some advice for what to do while waiting for it to turn up?

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