Bye bye Chase!

Recall my recent letter to Chase, which ended:

As I see it, you have three options for what to do now:

1. You can throw my letter in the trash. Result: I close my Chase account and get a new card from someone else.
2. You can send me a useless, boilerplate response that does not address any of my concerns, and then throw my letter in the trash. Result: I close my Chase account and get a new card from someone else.
3. You can use my letter to help you identify opportunities for improvement within your company and take advantage of those opportunities, and then send me a substantive response describing what you’ve done in real, concrete terms. Result: You restore my confidence and I stay a Chase customer.

So, what’s it going to be? I suggest you take a look at how much money you’ve made from the nearly $100,000 I’ve charged on my card in the past three years before you decide.

Apparently they’ve chosen option 2.  Today, I applied for a new Citizens Bank Platinum MasterCard with 3% cash back on gas purchases and 1% cash back on everything else.  Once my new Citizens card arrives, I will be closing my Chase account.  I’ve also sent hard copies of this blog entry to the woman who wrote to me and to the Vice President to whom she carbon-copied her response.

The following is the text of the letter I received from Chase today, with some commentary:

Dear Mr. Kamens:

I am writing in response to your concerns addressed to Jamie Dimon, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at JPMorgon Chase & Co.  I appreciate the opportunity to assist you on behalf of the Card Services Executive Office. [… an opportunity which she of course squandered.]

Please allow me to stress that we always appreciate receiving feedback from our Cardmembers [it gives us a good laugh!], as it helps us to continually evaluate our service to ensure that we are meeting our Customer’s [sic] needs and expectations [you’re not!].  We appreciate the time you have taken to bring your concerns to our attention [time that was obviously wasted].  I have attempted to contact you by telephone to further discuss your concerns, but my attempts have been unsuccessful. [Her “attempts” consisted of one voicemail message informing me that she had received and was researching my letter; I had assumed, apparently incorrectly, that when she was done “researching” she would call again.]

After further review of your concerns, I have found that the responses for the questions indicated in your letter are accurate. [If you’ve read my letter, you know full well that it’s impossible that everything I was told was “accurate.”] I regret that we are unable to provide you with additional information regarding our fraud processes, as it is proprietary bank information. [If you’ve read my letter, you know full well that I didn’t ask for any proprietary information about your fraud processes.]

Mr. Kamens I have forwarded your concerns to the appropriate area [the trash can!] for review regarding the lack of information available to our customers on how to enroll or unenroll in services online.  If you have any additional questions, please contacat me at 1-888-…-…., extension …. or …..  My hours are Monday through Friday from 7:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Central Time.