December 8, 2012
Gabila’s Knishes
100 Wartburg Avenue
Copiague, New York 11726
To whom it may concern:
It is very rare indeed for a packaged food product to leave such a strong impression on me that I feel compelled to write to its creators and share my feelings with them. Your potato knishes, of which I recently bought a package from BJ’s Wholesale Club in Waltham, Massachusetts for $6.99, make the grade.
These knishes are, without a doubt, the most vile, disgusting thing I have consumed in my recent memory.
The unpleasantness starts with the first bite; the filling in these knishes tastes like no other potato knish I’ve ever had, and I don’t mean that in a good way. Although the taste is more mediocre than terrible, the fun is just beginning. After you chew and swallow, you experience the most incredible aftertaste. And I mean “incredible” literally, that is, its awfulness simply cannot be believed. It is this vile aftertaste which prompted me to write this letter.
I’m not a terribly picky eater – I enjoy Kosher airplane meals, for heaven’s sake! – and yet I was unable to choke down even one knish.
I hate throwing away good food, but your knishes don’t qualify. They went right into the trash after that first taste.
Sincerely,
Jonathan Kamens
| CC: | BJ’s Wholesale Club |
| 25 Research Drive | |
| Westborough, Massachusetts 01581 |
To bad you don’t have a compost pile. That’s the perfect place for these scraps of food. Ironically you could use these potato knishes for compost to grow better potatoes. Thus the Law of the Conservation of Potatoes is kept in balance and all is well in the Universe.
We do have a compost pile, but I don’t think baked goods (knishes have a bread-like crust) are so great for compost, not to mention the fact that the whole point of a compost file is for the stuff in it to decay, and prepackaged food like these knishes is loaded with preservatives which prevent that.