When you need to do THIS to get people to read your circulars, you know you’re in trouble

I got a big envelope in the mail recently which had this on the back:

and this on the front:

Now, anybody who’s been around the block a few times knows that any brightly colored envelope emblazoned with words like “PRIORITY DELIVERY” and “Important information inside” which doesn’t clearly identify who sent it was actually sent with the cheapest, slowest possible bulk mail rate and isn’t in the least bit important in any way at all.

Deceptive envelopes like this are the last-ditch, hail-mary efforts of companies or organizations which just can’t seem to get people to read what they send in any other way. Companies that do this either are desperate for your business or have really, really bad marketing people.

So, are you curious about what company is so desperate for my business that they feel the need to use this incredibly slimy tactic to get me to read their literature? The secret is hidden in the postmark on the front of the envelope. Here it is again, enlarged:

Yes, that’s right, Verizon apparently thinks that “standard U.S. postage” (i.e., bulk mail) is “priority delivery” and that it’s “important information” that they want me to sign up with them for service.

Do you think maybe they’re losing market share? Nah, that couldn’t be it.

Hey, Verizon, here’s a clue: when you provide services I want, at a price I’m willing to pay, with decent customer service, then you won’t need to use deceptive advertising to get me to give you money.

Last time I checked, the FIOS Experience guy was still waiting for an apology. That’d be a good place to start.